Anxiety is one of those words we all use, yet rarely mean in the same way. You might say, “I’m anxious,” and picture a knot in your stomach. Someone else might hear the same words and imagine racing thoughts, sleepless nights, or a feeling of dread looming over them.

When we talk about anxiety, we’re not talking about one thing. We’re talking about a whole constellation of sensations, thoughts, memories, and reactions that show up differently for each of us.

Why Anxiety Is Hard to Understand

Think of something like toothache. If you tell someone you have a toothache, they don’t need you to explain what it feels like. We all know that sharp ache, that throb that makes it hard to chew or sleep. There’s a shared understanding.

Anxiety doesn’t work like that.

If you say, “I feel anxious,” what does that really mean? Is it butterflies before a big meeting? Is it a panic attack? Is it a sense of being constantly on edge, waiting for something to go wrong? Or is it a feeling you can’t even put into words?

This is why anxiety can feel so lonely. Two people can use the same word but be describing very different experiences.

Anxiety as a Colour Palette

A helpful way to think about anxiety is like a colour palette. There’s no single “anxiety colour.” Instead, there are shades: soft, pale hues that might look like mild worry, and deep, intense colours that can feel overwhelming or paralysing.

Some shades might include:

• A restless, fidgety feeling
  
• A tight chest
  
• Difficulty concentrating
  
• Feeling constantly “on alert”
  
• Avoiding certain situations
  
• Overthinking or checking things repeatedly
  
• Feeling detached or disconnected
  
• Irritability or anger that appears out of nowhere

All of these may sit somewhere on the same palette, but they don’t look or feel the same.

What Anxiety Actually Is 

From a psychological perspective, anxiety is the body’s natural alarm system. It’s rooted in the nervous system and shaped by past experiences, especially moments where we felt unsafe, overwhelmed, criticised, or out of control.

Anxiety is the body remembering; often more loudly than the mind does.

There are different types of anxiety, such as:

• Generalised Anxiety: a constant, background hum of worry.
  
• Panic: sudden, intense episodes of fear and physical symptoms.
  
• Social Anxiety: fear of judgement, embarrassment, or rejection.
  
• Obsessive or compulsive patterns: intrusive thoughts and repetitive actions used to feel more in control.
  
• Health anxiety: fear about illness or physical sensations.

These categories can be helpful, but most people don’t fit neatly into just one.

Often, anxiety is a protective response based on past experiences. If you grew up in a home where you were criticised, ignored, or had to be hyper-aware to stay safe, your nervous system may have learned that vigilance equals survival.

That same system can activate during adult stress, deadlines, relationship conflict, uncertainty, or even moments when nothing seems “wrong.”

Your body is doing its best to protect you; even if its methods feel uncomfortable or confusing.

How We Respond to Anxiety

People respond to anxiety in many different ways. Some common responses include:

• Control: trying to organise, plan, check, or manage everything.
  
• Avoidance: steering clear of situations that might trigger anxiety.
  
• Overworking: keeping busy to avoid slowing down.
  
• Withdrawing: shutting down or feeling numb.
  
• People-pleasing: making sure everyone else is okay to reduce the risk of conflict.
  
• Irritability: snapping at small things as a way to release tension.

These responses usually aren’t conscious choices. They’re protective strategies our bodies and minds figured out long ago.

Naming Anxiety: Nervous, Fearful, Scared?

Sometimes anxiety is a stand-in for other feelings:

• Nervous
  
• Fearful
  
• Scared
  
• Apprehensive
  
• Overwhelmed
  
• Vulnerable
  
• Uncertain

There can be power in naming it more precisely. “I feel anxious” is a wide net. “I feel scared I’ll disappoint someone,” or, “I feel overwhelmed by expectations,” can be more grounding. It helps us understand what we actually need.

Where Do You Feel It? (The Somatic Part)

Anxiety isn’t just a thought — it’s a physical experience.

Some people feel it:

• In the chest (tight, heavy, or fluttery)
  
• In the stomach (nausea, churning, butterflies)
  
• In the throat (a lump or constriction)
  
• In the muscles (tension, shaking, restlessness)
  
• In breathing (shallow, fast, or feeling like you can’t catch your breath)
  
• In the head (pressure, buzzing, fog)

When anxiety is physical, it can feel even harder to name. You might think something is medically wrong, or you might find yourself trying to push the feeling away.

Noticing where in the body it shows up is often the first step in learning how to soothe it.

How anxiety helps, and how it limits us

Anxiety has a purpose. It can:

• Help us prepare
  
• Keep us alert
  
• Protect us from danger
  
• Motivate us to do well

But when anxiety becomes constant, intense, or unpredictable, it can start to limit us:

• Avoiding important opportunities
  
• Feeling stuck or frozen
  
• Overthinking every decision
  
• Struggling in relationships
  
• Not enjoying things we normally like
  
• Feeling exhausted from being “switched on” all the time

Anxiety becomes difficult not because it exists, but because it stops being helpful.

Bringing This Back to You

As you’re reading this, you might recognise parts of yourself; or perhaps you’re realising that your anxiety looks nothing like what other people talk about.

You might be someone who feels anxiety physically but never tells anyone.
You might be the high-functioning type, busy and capable on the surface but overwhelmed underneath.
Or you might simply feel “off” without knowing why.

Anxiety doesn’t have to look like panic attacks or complete shutdowns. It often shows up quietly, gradually, in ways that are easy to dismiss.

Whatever your experience is, it’s real; and it deserves space.

How Talking Therapy Can Help

Talking therapy creates a safe, consistent place to explore your anxiety in your own words and at your own pace. A therapist can help you:

• Understand where your anxiety comes from
  
• Recognise the patterns your body and mind use to cope
  
• Name what you’re feeling more clearly
  
• Explore memories or experiences that still affect you
  
• Develop grounding skills that work for you
  
• Build a calmer, more spacious inner world

Many people find it relieving to talk to someone who isn’t judging, fixing, or rushing them; someone who simply listens, understands, and walks with them through what feels overwhelming.

If you’re curious about speaking to a therapist, or you’re feeling anxious and don’t quite know why, we’re here. Hammock offers affordable, accessible therapy with counsellors who are warm, skilled, and genuinely invested in your wellbeing.

You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

Thanks all

Tom

(Hammock co-founder)